Train Ride
by BriGuy The Writer
Summary: A parody of that Ricola commercial. Ryoga and Ranma go insane. Many pigs. I don't even know why it's rated PG.


This one is in honor of the Super Bowl. Not for the great sport of football, mind you, but for the wonderful broadcasting of commercial breaks. This one was not made for the Game, mind you, but it is still an excellent performance.  
  
Train Ride  
  
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Our scene is the train in the Nerima district (if there even is one, how should I know?), busy as usual. People are just getting off work now, and the car we are peeking into is near capacity. It's a time to sit down, take a few deep breaths, and begin to decompress from the stresses of the day.  
  
Unfortunately, one person isn't going to be so lucky.  
  
As the train pulls up to the platform, people look out the windows into a stormy looking sky. Many people get out at this stop, and the repeaters of this route are used to it. What they are not used to is who, or rather, what walks on to the train.  
  
There were about fifty of them, some people guessed. Others thought they numbered in the hundreds. No matter the number, they were all black, and they all had the same distinctive looking bandannas tied to their necks. They were also so freaking adorable that even the most solemn of passengers couldn't help but tickle one under its chin. Before they knew it, the small units of kawaiiness were bouncing throughout the car, and the train was off.  
  
*** NOW A BREIF INTERMISSION WHILST I PET MY PUPPY. . . . THANK YOU! ^_^ ***  
  
Ryoga stood on the platform, rain pouring all around. He glanced up, thanking the heavens that he had his umbrella. How royally screwed he would be without it. And its amazing power to self-recover (Bleh! G Gundam is seeping in. Stop me!) had come in handy too. Lastly, its usefulness as a weapon had aided him in his fight against Ranma a number of times.  
  
Ranma. Ryoga had promised himself he would save his fantasies for later, but if you can't break promises to yourself, whose can you break? Ryoga pictured the scene, he would defeat Ranma with a single blow, thus proving his love to Akane (somehow), and she would be his. Akane, Ryoga thought, may this train take me back to your arms.coincidentally, the train arrived just then, thanks to a useful plot device. *HeLlO!?;* As he unconsciously boarded the train, the scene pans out to a sign, "Now leaving Nerima."  
  
The young man's thoughts continued to dwell on his love, and his rival. So he did not notice the sounds that emanated from the opening sliding door, or the smell that was to follow. He only noticed something was amiss when he stepped in a pile of brown matter that looked suspiciously like.  
  
Ryoga looked up. In the collection of nerve cells up in his noodle that had been tested time and again to the very brink of insanity there was one thought that began to bounce around, like a marble in a trash can.  
  
Pigs.  
  
"RYYYYOOOOGAAAAAA!!" exclaimed the occupants of the car suddenly, all at once.  
  
"RUN AWAY!" exclaimed Ryoga.  
  
Ryoga didn't know why he had to get away; he just knew that he couldn't stand to look at the pigs. Those cute black pigs, each with a bandanna tied to their small necks. He quickly punched his finger through the metal door, and as the onslaught of rubber and shrapnel and piggy poo subsided, we see Ryoga in the distance, singing "This Little Piggy" and laughing maniacally.  
  
Or no, that's not Ryoga laughing. That's that pigtailed boy that just fell through the door to the next compartment. He continues to roll on the floor, laughing his head off.  
  
"HAHAHAHA.I just LOVE messing with him like that! But.maybe I went too far this time. ..Nah! I can NEVE.." (Splash) as Ranma is doused with cold water by the water sprinkling lady.  
  
Ranma, now a pigtailed girl, exclaimed, "Hey, why the heck are you here!?" Why aren't you sprinkling the front of your house?"  
  
"You know I only do this to mess with you! OH HOHOHOHOHO."  
  
Ranma sits in an empty seat, her eyes narrowed. "Someday I will kill all of you, ALL OF YOU DO YA HEAR! and then I'll come back to life hundreds of years from now and DECAPITATE YOUR CORPSES! BWAHAHAHAHA..HA..ha.um, yeah, thank you." 


End file.
